All Things Tinder and Juicy

12:49:00 AM

Last Saturday, I decided to finally break the streak of five weekends spent on traveling and socializing. Like a hermit who went to his cave, I suddenly stopped talking to my friends and I locked myself inside the house. I attempted to deactivate my Facebook for a while, but then had to reactivate after a day because Spotify won't let me use my Premium account without my linked Facebook account. I couldn't bear life without my guilty pleasure, my Tito Playlist, okay?

I slept in until I had to unwillingly get up to eat a very late lunch. Then, I binged-watched all the reality TV shows I missed--four episodes of Survivor, four episodes of The Amazing Race, some episodes of America's Next Top Model, and since those were not enough to satiate my TV addiction, I also caught up on three episodes of How To Get Away With Murder. And idk I guess Sunday wasn't exciting enough so I reinstalled Tinder.

Ang haba ng intro but here we are now! Bear with me. 

I am in no way an expert in online dating and I don't have statistics to back up whatever I'll be saying, other than mine. So here's a rundown of my "numbers."

1. The last time I momentarily installed it was three months ago. I met someone I actually liked so I uninstalled the app. A few weeks after, it was time for him to go back to his motherland. Funny story: remember the train man who asked for my number? No, he is not that same person. But I was on my way to meet this man on a second date when the train man approached me.

2. I reactivated the app last Sunday. I have been playing the swiping game for two days now, over dinner. If I insert a kanin/ulam joke here, would I seem too much of a perv? Yes? No? Please expound.

3. From the two dinners that have passed, I got a total of 25 matches and a 100% successful match rate. I don't know if this is because men automatically just swipe to the right for every girl they see. On my end, unless I really really like how they look in 100% of the photos, that's only when I'll swipe to the right. Walang "pwede na 'to!" right swipes.

4. I think 25 matches is many. When I last played this game, with my best friends beside me in Kuala Lumpur, I only swiped to the right three times. In KL, I hear Tinder is better for men looking for men. They get better options, they say. And with that information, I want to say... mas marami lang sigurong poging straight sa Singapore!

5. 92% of my matches have facial hair, while the other 8% are completely bald-headed. There it is. I apparently have a type!

6. Out of 25, I only replied to 6 of them. That's a 24% reply rate.

7. Top 3 Intros That Never Got A Reply

  • Hey beautiful
  • What you doin
  • You look very hot

8. Those I replied to used custom messages. One person asked which programming language I code. One person asked how my family is doing in the Philippines and hoped they're safe from #LandoPH. One person asked if my last photo was shot in Palawan. A little research goes a long way!

9. 3 out of 6 conversations have moved on to Whatsapp.

10. I have terrible follow-through, especially since I always keep myself busy, and I still think it's a waste of time. Chances of me seeing anyone in real life: 0% 

I'm deleting the app tomorrow!

P.S Do you have Tinder stories to share? I'd love to hear them!

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