Present, Past, Future

5:30:00 AM

I am writing this post while only an hour in on this very delayed Cebu Pacific flight to Manila. (CebPac, what's good?) I tried sleeping but my heart has been beating very fast lately. It has been like this for the entire week, even when I have stopped drinking coffee. I think this is anxiety or stress, maybe both. 


While I love the idea of flying back and forth to places, it has dawned on me that I cannot do this regularly. I get tired. I am tired.

Right now, I just long to crawl into bed and have warm cuddles. Maybe watch Survivor too, because that stuff is my life. I need to laugh the entire day off, and then cry the next. After that, I will be okay. The main difference between a year ago and now is that now, I know what I want. 

...

Just like that, it was exactly one year ago when decided to break up with my longest relationship--my first employer since I graduated. 

It has already been a year since I tendered my resignation letter, can you believe that?? 

After handing my manager my month's notice, I remember going to the ladies room and, just like in the movies, stayed inside the toilet stall for a good cry. I remember the feeling of having emotions so intense, I had to call my closest friends and ask for some face to face time so they can help calm me down. 

I was working there for 6 years and 4 months. I have learned a lot of valuable things and gained life-long friends. For those, I was and I am still very grateful. And for those same reasons, it was difficult to move on. 

...

I'm a member of a travel blogger group where people share inspiring stories, hacks and itineraries. (Thank you, Kira, for inviting me!) There are times when fellow members would throw out topics for future collaborative posts. At one point, a blogger directed a question to people who recently relocated. 

"What is the one thing you regret since you relocated?"

There were several answers before me and I'm so sorry I can't even give you context on their stories because I already forgot. Mine, on the other hand, I still remember. 

"My regret is that it seems I still haven't moved. I have gone back home more times than I should have. That in turn makes me lazy, not to mention exhausted, to try to meet new people where I'm now based."

The good news is... there's still so much time to change that.

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